Arrival in a Traffic Jam: An essay about mental health by SoloSam

The pandemic has been a very limiting experience. We spend a majority of our time removed from our day-to-day existence with other people. Over the past year, creatives have been stuck at home, unable to connect with others. I found myself uninspired & exhausted.  Most of my days would consist of me doing nothing and just waiting for the pandemic to be over.

But, during this time, during this time  I gave myself grace and patience. I didn’t force anything!  As always, I knew creativity would come from within when the time was right.  

Once three months passed, I made a straightforward plan and concluded that the pandemic led me to. I wanted to be an HONEST artist and finding out what that meant to me. I started to get honest with my approach to music and the content inside my music. 

I no longer wanted to create songs for fun but to create music that had intention. The discovery that was needed ended up being focused around one word; “therapeutic”. Music began to be my therapist and it carried me through my untamed thought process and brought forth realizations that I never even considered. Music began to be my therapist as it carried me through my natural thought process and brought forth realizations that I never even considered.  It showed me that I limit how much of my identity I put in my music for fear that rejection of my music would be a rejection of myself. 

I now see that singular idea prevented me from being in the realm of creativity I always strived for. 

As the days continued, I started finding myself encapsulated in a world that was there all along. In the past, I had always been too timid about discussing my struggles in my work. I began taking hours out of my day, revisiting songs that I loved and realizing that the more personal they were, the deeper connection I had with them. My outlook on music creation changed, and my process began to focus on the tiny details I once overlooked. 

I started approaching music with the same amount of care I needed for my mind, and I began to find comfort in that process. And now, I have created music that can only exist when I truly allow myself grace and patience. 

It’s easy to become discouraged during times like this and to be hard on yourself for not “grinding” through and making the best out of every situation. It’s hard to find inspiration in an uninspired event. That’s not the point. The point is to find yourself and move along accordingly. Experience who you are, learn how you think, and enjoy the day-to-day moments in the person you are. 

There will be standstills on this journey, and there will also be moments of slow movement. Just always make sure to check in with yourself on your way to the destination, knowing your arrival will be right on time.